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Oct. 5th, 2011

Ended the relationship I thought would never end, got into another relationship which started well but is now cooling off fast. Oh well, I know there is a girl out there for me so I will keep looking.
My last entry was over a year ago but it was very significant.  I talked about the serious conversation I had with the couple I was working for.  At that time one of the things we discussed was sex and sexuality.  I had never been satisfied with any man I had dated and all of my relationships had ended in disaster.  They introduced me to a friend, Michelle, who is a lesbian.  I never thought I had an interest in women, but this woman really opened my eyes.  She took me to various functions in the community and introduced me to many other lesbian who I became friends.  While all of this was going on I became closer and closer to Michelle.  Well I moved in to her place in January and we have been together ever since.  My life has made a 100% turn for the better, I know we are going to be together forever and I know I have made great friends who I can share things and rely on them to get me through rough parts of my life.  
It has been a long time since I written anything for this journal.  Maybe I have a boring life right now.  Actually I do not a lot happening other then the same thing everyday - looking after two small kids.  Actually Saturday evening I did do something just a little different.  The man and lady I work for were being nice and asked me to join them Saturday evening while they were sitting outside.  We had a very nice conversation late into the night. We talked about all kinds of things, it was nice to share views with them, and I found they were not really stuffy people.  Well, actually I knew that, but I didn't know them as well as I do now.  

Jun. 19th, 2008

Well Corey is gone.  I am glad I had a serious talk with him as we have serious differences in almost all of our core beliefs, especially his desire to have children.  He is much more conservative then I could ever relate to.  Someone told me to always discuss these things at the beginning of a relationship so you do not get too emotionally involved before you find you have major differences.  That was good advice, and something I will always do from now on.

I have taken the kids swimming a few times, including yesterday, and they really seem to like it.  They are much better behaved at the pool even though they do get a little wilder then they should.  By the time we are ready to return home they are pretty well worn out, so the rest of the day is pretty good.  Again I know why I will never be a mother.
Another week is over as is another week of kids.  Every week makes me more determined to not have children so that is one good thing to come of this summer.  I spent all of last weekend with Corey which I would not normally do after just meeting someone.  However, we really hit it off and it seemed like a the thing to do.  It worked out very well we had a very good time together.  He has called me everyday and even came to seem me one evening when we managed  to get some times alone.  We are going out again tonight and I expect we will spend the weekend together again.  Before we get too deep into this relationship there are a lot of things I have to talk to him about to be sure he understand who and what I really am, as well as, what my views are on life and other thing important to a relationship.  I think it may work out ok with him, but I am not going to wait, better now then someplace down the road.

May. 29th, 2008

What a shitty day I had.  The kids I was watching were 100% awful.  Into everything, fighting, and being about as bad as they could be.  This was another confirmation of why I will never have children.  However, things really took a turn for the better tonight.  Corey called and we had a very nice 2 hour conversation.  I think I am going to like going out with him tomorrow night.  I think he is one of those rare nice guys, at least I hope so.

SURPRISE

I received a call last night from a guy, Corey, who I met about a week and a half ago.   We had a great conversation, and he wants to go out tomorrow night.   He seems like a nice guy so I hope we hit it off well.

ME

Here I am a new member trying to find my way around this site as I am also trying to find my way in life.  I have grown up in a very repressed family, and am in the process of becoming my own person.  I have just finished my first year of college, and am hoping to one day become a medical doctor concentrating in women's health.  Leaving home for college was my first step in separating myself from the repression I lived through the first 18 years of my life.  My second big step is happening right now as I have elected to not return home this summer.  Instead among other things I am working as a kind of nanny for a very wonderful young single mother.  Even though I was repressed at home mant things have happened in my past that would cause my parents to probably have a heart attack.  I learned to become a sneak and was very good at it.  Enough for now.

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kayla1906
kayla1906

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